Firstly, having meaning or purpose in life that gives the person structure, something to look forward to and the possibility of leaving a legacy,
The second is friendship and support system that entails family and strong connections,
Lastly, having an intimate relationship.
Of all of these above the last one is nice to have but not the most important. An intimate relationship will not “complete you”- unless you are in a movie with Tom Cruise.
In my years of psychodynamic coaching, conversations move into the areas personal relationship and during our sessions, we have deep conversations around intimate relationships or lack of them. Understandably, the game has changed a few decades ago meeting romantic partners were easier than it is now. As Asians one were likely to be hitched by a family member; be it, parents or extended family. However, now with changing times, packed calendars, and demanding careers; the responsibility of finding a right partner lies on the person.
Here are a few tips on finding a partner when you are a busy executive, these are most commonly repeated during our sessions. If you are looking for someone try these out, you can always reach out to me if you’d like to know more.
CHOOSE THE RIGHT PARTNER
Make sure that the person you choose is supportive of your higher calling. If you are ambitious and working 16 hour days, you’d start resenting a partner who is demanding of your time and keeps you from pursuing your purpose. If you’re interested in quitting your corporate job and want to move into entrepreneurship understand how important will your stable paycheque be for the relationship. Remember you’d need to return the favour as well and understand what lights up your partner.
DON’T BE TOO DIRECT
It is not important to always go for ‘the kill’- if you’re desperate for a ring just buy yourself one. Be a friend first let the other person lower their guard around you. You shut off people when you come across as needy or direct. Don’t answer every call or text and always be available- have a life of your own but when you are together put on your charm and be present. Let them feel seen and acknowledged.
Don’t put all your cards on the table! There is no use being an open book- every page of you is important – Let time uncover aspects of yourself. There are so many parts of you the beauty, the intellectual side, the spiritual side, the innocence, street smarts all of them can unravel slowly.
HAVE YOUR OWN FRIENDS
People are attracted to those who have their own life and are desired company for others. It should be a matter of privilege to have your attention. In short, popular people are more attractive.
DON’T TRY TO LOOK PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE ALL THE TIME
People are insecure about their body image and self-worth, if you are perfect all the time you make them aware of their weakness. Also, your career wear is not equal your date wear (don’t get mixed up on that one).
SHOW YOUR SPIRITUAL SIDE
Make the other person comfortable and less self conscious-but never lazy. People should be comfortable around you but never slothful, they should put in an effort as well because you are worth it.
Do you want to book a consultation with Devika Das?
Tel: +852 2530 3315